Saturday, May 24, 2008

I'm trying to understand,
Your mind and how you see.
I'm just trying to figure out,
What you want from me.

I live the love you gave me,
And try hard to not complain,
About how I lose everything,
And having nothing to gain.

I stand as tall as I can.
I hold my head up high.
Trying to ignore my thoughts.
My inner desperate cry.

I push myself to my limit,
Even though I won't prevail.
Yet you continue to test me,
Even though I always fail.

I'm not strong enough for pain.
I'm too weak for depression.
I'm tired of trying to win,
With my useless acts of aggression.

I just want you to tell me,
Why I have to be here.
When all I get told is,
"Go and die; I don't want to talk to you anymore; I hate you; Do I look like I fucking care?"
Much more than the three simple magic words.

Why did you make me like this?
With a desire I cannot change.
This feeling that I try to hide,
So I don't feel so strange.

Could you have made me "normal?"
Or just give me more strength to lie?
Just so I don't have to deal,
So I don't want to die.

So what was your reason,
For making me what you see?
Just one question,
What do you want from me..

`Ah_vIN-`
-am i being taken for granted..? Sunday, May 11, 2008

To think that i can post my postings in my camp LOL! Ok.. My mood has been good so far.. -KNS- has officially been reformed (: And shall start the recruitment scheme very soon.. Hope that it'll be a good kick off for -KNS-! Haha xP I'm now just waiting for time to fly away D: cuz I'll be going home @ 7.30am and i can't seem to fall asleep as i had my afternoon nap LOL x: Oh well, I'll stop here for now! Bye~

`Ah_vIN-` Thursday, May 8, 2008

I'm really wondering.. utterly wondering.. if I should reform our old guild -KNS-.. who doesn't miss it..? Seriously speaking? I miss that tag -KNS-, I miss the friends, I miss the times we had, I miss the times we spent together, I miss what I had before in -KNS-.. After so long, I still can't forget the past I had in -KNS-.. I really really feel like reforming her.. She's my second home after all.. Ever since -KNS- closed down.. everything changed.. I don't want things to change anymore.. I'll give myself time to think.. If there are anyone out there who would support me in doing this, I greatly appreciate it.. I know zHu will be angry if I do this.. But trust me.. I got the qualities to manage a guild well now.. I don't care if the old problems come back anymore. I just want -KNS- to be back to it's old self again.. Sorry zHu. Adios.

`Ah_vIN-` Monday, May 5, 2008

It's been a tiring day.. stayed in camp till 7.30pm then can leave D; Had to stay back to finish some work.. And I'm quite confused about what I want in life.. My sir spoke to me about some sensitive things today and.. It really struck me that I'm actually quite lost in my own life? I've got no plans for the future.. I've got nothing in my mind on what i want to do either.. I guess it's time to do some soul searching? =\ And he spoke to me about my relationship life.. I just kept quiet and said nothing. I didn't want to talk about my past anymore.. and now.. gahh I don't know. It seems that I'm really lost.. I think i really need someone to guide me along.. care for me and support me? Oh well.. it's just a fantasy i guess. I'll stop here for now. Bye!

`Ah_vIN-` Sunday, May 4, 2008

Mood : Pissed off

Nerd dota friends I've got. Seriously why can't they just understand the meaning of teamwork? Why can't they understand that when you die and your team mate is nearby, it's not their fault but yours because you are being stupid to just dash in there and die? Luckily they're not from my team. Every little thing is your fault.. what the f*ck? I guess i'm never going to play with them ever again. Bunch of noobs =.=" Knthxfornthnerds.

`Ah_vIN-`

Back from duty!! Haha. But when I was doing my duty, some things happened.. One of the problems was regarding En.. She was sad because her boyf broke up with her.. zHu called me to ask if i can accompany her with him.. sorry zHu! Was in camp.. can't leave if not I'm gonna get charged for AWOL again x: And En, I'm sorry that I can't accompany you when you're down D; But I'll be praying for you :D Stay happy and cheerful okay? ;P Anyways.. this month will be a very busy month for me D; alot of duties are waiting for me ): But don't worry guys! I'll still find time to accompany all of you!!! It's been a long time since we've last met.. sure do miss you people alot! :D And about Clar's B'day party, I can make it wahahaha! So clar, I'll be there xD. Okays I'll stop here for now~ Sanyonara!

`Ah_vIN-` Saturday, May 3, 2008

Heya all. Back to post (: Been a tiring day lols.. Had branch cohesion at one of my army friend's house and they forced me to drink alot x.x" But it was fun! We had mahjong session, card session, and the best was BBQ! :D The food was nice!!!! Chicken wings~ chicken fillets~ satay~ otah~ squid~ sweet corn~ sweet potato~ garlic bread~ marshmellows~and alot more lol x: i bet you guys are jealous now HAHA xD! But here comes the bad news.. I've got duty later on and i haven't slept a wink yet LOLS. So.. I guess i'll stop here for now and prepare to go to camp! Bye!!

`Ah_vIN-` Thursday, May 1, 2008

Hey all.. I've deleted the previous blog due to some personal reasons.. One of them is to forget the past.. and change myself. Those who want to relink jiu relink. Those who don't want to, i won't force you :D
And fyi, i'm back into the duty again.. so i won't be coming online much anymore.. you people out there take care yeah? Alright.. I'll stop here for now! Byez :D

`Ah_vIN-`